This morning I found myself reprimanding my little girl for being harsh with her baby dolls. She does have five brothers and can be a little rough (so I'm glad that she likes to play with dolls at all!). "Cara, why are you hitting your baby? That is not nice! Why are you trying to hurt her? You love your baby! Don't speak to her in such an ugly voice! You don't want to yell at your baby!"
I realized as the words came out of my mouth that I was more guilty that she was in the way I treated my real babies! Could she possibly even be more influenced by her own mother than her brothers?? Ouch.
Over the past couple years and especially the past few months, I have really felt the Lord speaking to me about being a more gentle mother. It seems every time I open the bible I am convicted. I have been seeking Him more and more about this issue and two key words keep popping up--Gentleness and Grace. Tough words for someone whose natural bend is toward harshness and legalism. I know my shortcomings and I know God has better things in mind for me and my children.
I know my outbursts mainly stem from my own selfishness and struggles with anger and impatience, but I have noticed other triggers that only make things worse:
- when I don't get enough sleep
- when I don't care for my body through healthy food/drink choices and feel bad as a result
- when the house is overly messy/dirty
- when I haven't spent more time with my children than other things, like the tv, have!
- when I'm distracted from my calling to be a helpmeet, joyful mother, and keeper at home by other interests and my priorities are out of order
- and number 1--when I haven't spent enough time with the Lord
When those things are neglected, I am much more quick-tempered, so taking care of those things is a start.
I can do my part in that way and working on my own self-control, but ultimately, I CANNOT be a godly gentle mother on my own. No matter how I try and try I will fail. I think this is the main reason I am still struggling after all these years. Only through the power of God and His Spirit working in me, can I ever even begin to become the kind of mother God wants me to be. Prayer and constant dependence on Him is the only way.
So I am on a journey to be a more gentle mother. I am seeking Him to find out what this really means. I am asking Him to reveal His ways to me and enable me to follow those ways. I'm imploring Him to show me how to be gentle when I don't feel gentle, and how to show grace to my children--the way He shows grace to His.
Starting here: God's Word
And here: Give Them Grace
4 comments:
THANK YOU, I really needed this!!!!! WOW so convicting!!
I have been on this same journey - for years. At 13 weeks pregnant, I have been through a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes they get the better of me and my poor children.... And I agree that when things get out of order, we as mom's become impatient and ill tempered. What you said is so true that we cannot be gentle mother's in our own strength. We need the power of God's Holy Spirit to change us from the inside out.
I LOVED this post. It is so timely for me as a mother. I so appreciate your heart to continually strive to be more like Jesus. We are in the process of being perfected and it sometimes feels a little discouraging when we are not where we want to be yet. But, God is refining us and has us right where we are. He is so good and faithful! Thank you so much for this beautiful heartfelt post. It is such good food for thought and prayer. God bless you and your beautiful children today.
This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. Your list of culprits which impede gentleness and grace is very insightful and inspiring.
My upcoming article on April 26th at the following:
http://www.aboverubies.net/search/label/Biblical%20Womanhood
It's entitled "Meek and Gentle Mothers" and I thought perhaps you'd enjoy stopping by the FAR Above Rubies site on that day to read it.
I have often found that this little prayer helps me on the days when I am struggling with increasing these virtues in my soul. I pray, "Mary, gentle, meek, and mild...lead me to JESUS, your Divine Child". Instantly, I feel more inner peace and calmness as I go about my duties/tasks.
I am sharing your lovely post with many friends today. God bless you as you strive to be a meek and gentle mother!
Thank you for this post. Timely, truthful, applicable.
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