Recently several people have encouraged me to blog. Blogging has been the furthest thing from my mind lately, but maybe it is just the outlet I need and will motivate me. The past six months of my life have been nothing short of a whirlwind and the past two and half months have been the hardest of my life.
It has been difficult adjusting to a new home, a new baby, and a new life without daddy. Emotionally it has been more than I can bear, but by God's grace I am starting to see the sun again. I don't know how I could have made it through any of this without Him. His presence and His Word have been the only thing sustaining me. He has taught me the true meaning of joy.
On top of the emotional side of it, we seem to have been slammed with physical affliction. We've had severe sinus infections, strep throat (one at a time), stomach flus, ear infections. Justin's tonsil stones got bad again and we had to visit the ENT. Zachary had a scary accident that miraculously only required stitches. David fell and broke his arm so badly it required surgery. The doctors and hospitals here already know us by name.
Tyson seemed to have colic for a few weeks, but praise the Lord he doens't do that at all anymore. I was so afraid we would be going through that for three or four months. But now he goes to sleep around 9 or 10 at night and sleeps till 8 or 9 in the morning! He prefers his own bed and these long sleeping hours are not always the best thing for a nursing mother! But I'll take that discomfort if it means I get to sleep.
My marriage has been going through the ultimate test with this separation. I never thought my heart could stand the things it has gone through.
So I kinda feel like Job and I must admit that I haven't handled it all as well as he did. There have been nights where I have wanted to curse God and die as Mrs. Job suggested. But He is faithful even when I am not. His Word and His promises are life to me. I know I will emerge from this season stronger than ever.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and your prayers. Whenever I see that people actually read this and care, I am blown away. Right now I don't even feel like that same person who wrote this blog. And if you were with me way back in the Xanga days, I don't even recognize that girl! But you know what--I don't want to stay the same. I'm not who I was ten years ago and I hope that ten years from now I will not be who I am today. I want to keep growing in the Lord and changing for the better. I want to keep learning and becoming. I don't want to be that proverbial leopard who can't change his spots. I want to be a butterfly.
