Today I came across an old post of Beverly's and wanted to repost it here. In case you don't know, Beverly is my aunt who raised me. She passed away in 2007 from cancer much too soon, but her legacy still lives on in so many ways. She was an amazing woman of God.She wrote this post right after I found out I was pregnant with my fourth child. She died only months after that fourth child was born. How I wish she could have seen all the beautiful blessings I have now, especially little Cara Grace Beverly, my little girl we used to dream about together. I know she would be so happy.
What do we say when we find out that some one is expecting a baby? Well, you might say, it depends? Well let me say right off that this someone is married. Does that help you? Now it seems that if the person is married, then we would be rejoicing in that new life. Right? Well, not necessarily. I am going to make some generalizations here, but I am only sharing what I have witnessed in my own life. If the couple has been married at least 2 years, preferably 3, and if this is their first child, then most everyone is excited. Well, if they are having financial problems then maybe some hold back from rejoicing. But for the most part, most people are glad to hear that a married couple who has waited a sufficient amount of time are starting a family.
How about the next child? Well, it seems again that if the couple has waited the right amount of time, maybe 3 years, then again most everyone is glad to hear that the next child is on the way. Now, I am truly going to get controversial. What about a 3rd child? Whew! Well that is different. But, if the first 2 children are the same sex, then most people will go along with trying for that 3rd in hopes that the couple finally has that boy (or girl). But, after three, then you are standing on shaky ground.
Have you ever thought about the message we are sending as Christians when we scorn life that God has created? Scorn life, you say. I would never do that. Well, I have heard it done over and over in my life, and sometimes I wonder whether Christians really think about what they are saying. For example, suppose the couple is expecting their first child only 10 months after marriage. What comment do we hear then? Well I can tell you what I heard (because that happened to us), and it was "Was this PLANNED??" The clear message is that no one would ever plan to have a child so soon after marriage. Or, how about this? Suppose the 2nd (or 3rd) child is due before the previous baby's first birthday. That is not really accepted now days either, unless of course you make it clear to everyone that this was an "oops" baby. Then people might forgive you and feel sorry for you. By the time you are expecting the 5th, or 6th, or scandalously the 10th, then many in the church either think that you are off your rocker, don't know what causes babies, are a saint, or are so rich that you can buy everything all these children want.
We need to be so careful about accepting the world's view of children. On one hand, we are taking a stand against abortion, as well we should. Then on the other hand, we are being critical of married couples who are having children, if they don't do it according to society's standard of 2, maybe 3 children, appropriately spaced of course.
I want to tell you about a 25 year old woman. This woman has been married for 5 years, and she just found out that she is expecting, her fourth. She already has a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and her youngest just turned 1 in September. Now tell me, would most Christians rejoice at the news of another life. Oh friends, I fear that they would not. But I know this woman, very well as a matter of fact. She is my beloved niece, who we raised as our own daughter. And let me tell you, she is rejoicing. The reality of another blessing from God, another life to embrace, another person to raise to love and serve God, another plate at their table, another baby to hold, more memories to treasure, all of these things and more cause Jennifer to behold the awesome blessing of being entrusted with another person to raise for Him. She is not thinking at all how she will buy designer jeans for all those kids, how she will be able to give them all their own room, how she will drive them to all of their lessons when they get older, or how they will pay for college. She knows that whatever God plans for each child, then He will provide. She doesn't have to be able to figure out all the details of this child's life right now; all she needs to do is know is that this child is from God.
I don't want to sound holier than thou because I have 6 children. Oh no, that is not my point at all. Your family size is a something that is between you and God. But, each one of us need to examine our attitude, and before God make sure that we are not accepting the world's view instead of God's. I can testify to you, there is great peace in looking around your table and knowing that exactly who God wanted is sitting there.
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. Psalms 127:3-5
Why would I turn down a blessing or a reward?
How about the next child? Well, it seems again that if the couple has waited the right amount of time, maybe 3 years, then again most everyone is glad to hear that the next child is on the way. Now, I am truly going to get controversial. What about a 3rd child? Whew! Well that is different. But, if the first 2 children are the same sex, then most people will go along with trying for that 3rd in hopes that the couple finally has that boy (or girl). But, after three, then you are standing on shaky ground.
Have you ever thought about the message we are sending as Christians when we scorn life that God has created? Scorn life, you say. I would never do that. Well, I have heard it done over and over in my life, and sometimes I wonder whether Christians really think about what they are saying. For example, suppose the couple is expecting their first child only 10 months after marriage. What comment do we hear then? Well I can tell you what I heard (because that happened to us), and it was "Was this PLANNED??" The clear message is that no one would ever plan to have a child so soon after marriage. Or, how about this? Suppose the 2nd (or 3rd) child is due before the previous baby's first birthday. That is not really accepted now days either, unless of course you make it clear to everyone that this was an "oops" baby. Then people might forgive you and feel sorry for you. By the time you are expecting the 5th, or 6th, or scandalously the 10th, then many in the church either think that you are off your rocker, don't know what causes babies, are a saint, or are so rich that you can buy everything all these children want.
We need to be so careful about accepting the world's view of children. On one hand, we are taking a stand against abortion, as well we should. Then on the other hand, we are being critical of married couples who are having children, if they don't do it according to society's standard of 2, maybe 3 children, appropriately spaced of course.
I want to tell you about a 25 year old woman. This woman has been married for 5 years, and she just found out that she is expecting, her fourth. She already has a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and her youngest just turned 1 in September. Now tell me, would most Christians rejoice at the news of another life. Oh friends, I fear that they would not. But I know this woman, very well as a matter of fact. She is my beloved niece, who we raised as our own daughter. And let me tell you, she is rejoicing. The reality of another blessing from God, another life to embrace, another person to raise to love and serve God, another plate at their table, another baby to hold, more memories to treasure, all of these things and more cause Jennifer to behold the awesome blessing of being entrusted with another person to raise for Him. She is not thinking at all how she will buy designer jeans for all those kids, how she will be able to give them all their own room, how she will drive them to all of their lessons when they get older, or how they will pay for college. She knows that whatever God plans for each child, then He will provide. She doesn't have to be able to figure out all the details of this child's life right now; all she needs to do is know is that this child is from God.
I don't want to sound holier than thou because I have 6 children. Oh no, that is not my point at all. Your family size is a something that is between you and God. But, each one of us need to examine our attitude, and before God make sure that we are not accepting the world's view instead of God's. I can testify to you, there is great peace in looking around your table and knowing that exactly who God wanted is sitting there.
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. Psalms 127:3-5
Why would I turn down a blessing or a reward?
Beverly Daffron
