Seeking Simplicity: 10 Small Ways to Start Living a Simpler Life

Wow--18 months!  I cannot believe it has been 18 months since I posted here.  Life has been full and busy, but mainly I just haven't had much to say.  It has been a period of growing pains in my life for sure.

I guess I need to update the header of my blog as I am now a mom of 8!  Our eighth child, Hannah Leigh, was born 9 months ago.  She is an absolute delight and a balm to my soul.

The past year or two I have grown increasingly interested in simplicity and minimalism.  It's not an easy quest with 8 children and a large house, but I am learning that living a simple life is not just about downsizing and decluttering, but is more of a lifestyle and a state of mind.  Here are a few ways I have been seeking to live a more simple life as I go about my daily tasks as a mother at home.  I have these words posted where I can see them as a reminder to myself.

Slow Down
I am learning to take my time with each thing I do rather than feel hurried all the time.  I feel that it's better to get less done if I am doing it well and enjoying the task at hand rather than get more done and feel stressed.  I love how Ann Voskamp says, "Life is not an emergency".

Savor
I want to really taste every moment of the day and savor the time.  Whether I'm snuggling a baby, combing a little girl's hair, chatting with a teenager, washing dishes, or cleaning up the fifth spill of the day---it's all a gift I want to drink in and appreciate.

Single-task
I used to try to do a million things at once.  Or I'd start one thing and then go to another before finishing and on and on.  Now I am doing one thing at a time until it is done.  This brings such a feeling of accomplishment and peace.  I try not to worry about what I'm not doing and focus on the ONE thing that I am doing.

Silence
Recently I enforced "screen free before 3" in our home.  With the exception of using the computer for school, we have no tv's, video games, or computer games on before 3:00.  I am trying to limit it at all other times as well, but this new rule has changed our days.  I have also stopped playing music as much.  I am finding enjoyment in doing my work in silence.  I hear the children.  I hear rain or birds outside.  I hear appliances running.  It's very peaceful and calming.

Smile
Happiness is often a decision we make and sometimes the first step is simply smiling.  Smiling at my children even when I'm not smiling inside can turn a stressful situation around.   It's amazing how putting a smile on your face usually ends up leading to a smile in your heart.

Sing
How powerful it is to sing during the day, especially if it is praise to the Lord.  I especially love to sing the old hymns.  They bring so much comfort and joy to my heart.  Scripture songs like Seeds Family Worship are another great way to keep praise and truth on our lips.

Speak Less
I am not a big talker but I still find myself rattling on at my children when it is unnecessary.  Sometimes I even get sick of my own voice.  I also notice that eventually my children start to tune me out. I am trying to get into the habit of speaking less and correcting only when truly needed.  Being quiet quiets my spirit as well.

Solitude
I have a place in my home where I go several times a day.  My children know when I am there they don't try to enter.  I take a few minutes to refresh myself, to think, to reflect on my day, to think about how to make my day better, to pray, read a few verses, or even just to look at Facebook for a few minutes in peace.  A few minutes alone is usually all I need to refuel, especially when things were getting especially loud or stressful.

Self
Solitude is a major way I take care of myself so that I can take care of others, but I have recently learned there are many other things I must do.  Taking the time to plan and prepare healthy food is one way and exercise is another.  Also, just making the time to do things I enjoy, like taking a long hot bath with a book. And most of all, spending time with the Lord every day in bible reading and prayer.  I have time for what I make time for.

Sabbath
I am really starting to enjoy Sunday as a Sabbath day by truly resting.  Sometimes it doesn't feel like a rest with the hustle and bustle of Sunday mornings and getting myself and 8 children out the door in the mornings, but the washing of worship and the Word once we get there makes it all worth it.  And the rest of the day is spent resting, reading, planning, eating, hanging out with my family.  It's like a holiday we get to have every week.

Practicing these small simple habits each day has brought so much peace and purpose to my heart.  When I start to simplify my mind, heart, and atmosphere, it frees me to begin simplifying in other areas like my home, activities, and finances.  Even when I lose my way and the stress builds up and the tasks start to pile up around me, I can look at these words and turn my heart back to simplicity.

GIVE UP

Dear mom at home with little ones all around you, I want to encourage you to GIVE UP.  Yes, I said GIVE UP!

Are you going crazy trying to keep your house clean? GIVE UP. It's not going to be clean while these little ones are around. You will find the time here and there to clean it, but it won't stay that way for long. BUT THAT'S OK. You will find the most peace when you accept that. Teach your children servanthood and responsibility but don't expect perfection. Let it go. And go make a mess making cookies with them.

Are you stressed trying to keep your children quiet because they're laughing too loudly or being too silly and screaming because, well, because of everything? GIVE UP. They're not going to be quiet. Most of them are very loud and they get even louder when they're together. They're full of joy and anger and fun and frustration. They're precious little humans who just want to be little humans. Don't try to suppress them. Embrace the noise and loudly sing a joyful song.

Are you harried trying to keep them out of your hair so you can get stuff done? GIVE UP. They will only be your little shadows for a short time. In a few years they'll be too busy to bother you. In a few more years, you'll be waiting by the phone. Don't try to exclude them. Get involved in what they're doing. Get them involved in what you're doing. Get involved in something together. Squeeze every drop out of these sweet first years.

Are you out of control trying to control everything around you? GIVE UP. You're not in control. God is in control. HE gave you these babies. Every interruption in our day is from Him. Every hard moment is to shape us. Every good moment is show us His grace. And every moment is wonderful. Receive them all with thanksgiving.

Being a mom is the greatest gift and the most blessed life IF ONLY we will GIVE UP. GIVE UP our selves and our comfort, our standards of perfection, our control. If we will GIVE UP the idea that this life is a burden and see it for what it is--a blessing. When our attitude and perspective changes, we change. GIVE UP your old perspective today. Be what God made you to be--a joyful mother of children.

"He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD."
Psalm 113:9

The rebirth of an old blog

Since it has been so long since I have blogged regularly, I felt I should reintroduce myself and also give a bit of an update on my life.  I feel like it is time to start blogging again!

My name is Jennifer and I have been married to my husband Kevin for 12 years.  He's in the military and is currently deployed.  So I'm here at home with our 7 children who range in age from 11 down to 1.  I homeschool them and I love it.

I love to write about a wide range of things, mostly motherhood, marriage, homemaking, homeschooling, books, and the bible.  Those are my passions.

For those that already follow my blog, I wanted to share that last November our eighth child went on ahead of us to heaven after just a short time in my womb.  Josiah Bravery is my only loss and although I wish he could have been a part of our family here, I look forward to being with him in heaven.

I am really looking forward to getting back to blogging again!

How to have an all-season wardrobe for your children (and never do the dreaded "clothes-switch" again!)

Yes, you read that right.   I have 7 children and it has been years since I did that awful task of switching out the out-of-season clothes for the in-season (and no, I don't live in Florida.  We have all four seasons here).  I have learned to simplify my children's wardrobes to be  appropriate all year round.   Not only does this eliminate the need for that terrible chore, it makes laundry so much easier, frees up storage space, and just makes life feel so much simpler.

Here are the types of clothing I buy for my children.

The boys:

T-shirts.  Simple short-sleeve t-shirts can be worn all year round, day and night.

Polo shirts.  Short sleeve polo shirts do well all year too.  Do we really need long sleeves if we're going to be donning a pull-over, jacket, or coat anyway?  Nah.

Jeans.  Yes, long jeans do get hot in the summer, but truthfully my children have never complained.  Some people don't even wear shorts as a modesty standard and they live.  If they get holes, cut-off jeans make great summer play clothes (and those are usually ready for the trash by winter anyway, so no need to put them in storage when temperatures drop.  There will probably be plenty more by next year.

Soft shorts.  Like basketball shorts.  These are great with t-shirts in the summer and make perfect sleeping clothes all year long.  My children don't even have pajamas.  My boys sleep in t-shirts and soft shorts.

 The girls:

Dresses.  I don't buy dresses that are intended only for fall or winter.  I try to buy simple cotton dress that do well all year round.  In the summer, the dress alone is enough.  In the winter, soft legging pants underneath look super cute.  If the dress is sleeveless, a simple t-shirt underneath is adorable.

Legging pants.  Perfect under dresses when the weather is chilly and also great to sleep in with t-shirts all year.

T-shirts.  Most of my girls' t-shirts are plain, solid colors to wear under dresses, but they do have a few they wear for sleeping or play clothes.

Nightgowns.  I do have nightgowns for my girls.  I just think they're adorable so I can't resist.



That is it!  They also wear regular tennis shoes all year round, as well as sandals in the summer.  And of course, when it's cold, they have fleece pull-overs and if it's really cold, a bigger coat to go on top of that.  They have one pull-over and coat apiece, so we keep that very simple as well.

It is such a relief not to have to deal with summer and winter clothes.  Everything is already out and at the ready, no matter what the temperature.  I'm not a fan of long sleeves or sweaters anyway, so it is not a great sacrifice for us.  This works for me and makes life so much easier!  The Great Clothes Switch?  I don't have time for that!

What if children were worth a million dollars?

I have seven children, all under the age of 11.  At home, I feel indescribably happy and blessed, and yet, well, normal.  When I go out in public, I am suddenly reminded of just how abnormal I am in this day and age.  People look at me like I have seven heads rather than seven children.  Yes, some people are nice and some people are just amazed.  But many, I will dare to say most, people make it very clear:  children are NOT valued in our culture.  On the contrary, they are seen as burdens and bothers.

Recently as my little parade was going up and down the aisles of the grocery store, I was taking in each face around me as we went past.  I was wondering what their faces would look like if instead of children, I was surrounded by things of great value:  nice clothes, an expensive handbag, precious jewelry, the keys to a luxury sports car in the parking lot to drive me home to my fabulous well-staffed mansion?  What if even they themselves were stacks of money equalling to millions of dollars?  Would they look down on me then?  Would they feel sorry for me or think me irresponsible or crazy?

The problem here is that society has everything backward.  They think children are something we need wealth to afford.  Children drain the wealth that we have.  Children are of so little value that thousands are killed every DAY.  The view that we are blessed if we can afford children is completely opposite of the biblical view that children ARE blessing.  Children don't drain our wealth, children ARE our wealth!  Don't believe me?  Read the Old Testament.  In the Old Testament, offspring was the highest form of blessing God bestowed on the nations He blessed.  They were greatly desired and valued because they were the future.  The people had a generational, long-term view of offspring that we rarely think about these days.  All we think of now is ourselves and the here-and-now.

What if my children were worth a million dollars?  How would people look at me then?  Well, guess what.  They ARE worth FAR more than a million dollars.  They are worth more than any price tag you could put on them.  They are priceless.  They are people, precious eternal souls, the only thing in the world that matters.  They are future adults, spouses, parents, grandparents.  They are brothers, sisters, friends.  How can any material thing be worth more than that?

I remember once I heard Jim Bob Duggar say each of his children were worth more than a trillion dollars and he felt like the richest man in the world.

I couldn't agree more.

Number Seven from Heaven

Katelynn Abigail Hope

May 29, 2012

4:43 pm

8 lb 10 oz

20.5 in

A Gentle Mother

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. 1 Thess. 2:7

This morning I found myself reprimanding my little girl for being harsh with her baby dolls. She does have five brothers and can be a little rough (so I'm glad that she likes to play with dolls at all!). "Cara, why are you hitting your baby? That is not nice! Why are you trying to hurt her? You love your baby! Don't speak to her in such an ugly voice! You don't want to yell at your baby!"

I realized as the words came out of my mouth that I was more guilty that she was in the way I treated my real babies! Could she possibly even be more influenced by her own mother than her brothers?? Ouch.

Over the past couple years and especially the past few months, I have really felt the Lord speaking to me about being a more gentle mother. It seems every time I open the bible I am convicted. I have been seeking Him more and more about this issue and two key words keep popping up--Gentleness and Grace. Tough words for someone whose natural bend is toward harshness and legalism. I know my shortcomings and I know God has better things in mind for me and my children.

I know my outbursts mainly stem from my own selfishness and struggles with anger and impatience, but I have noticed other triggers that only make things worse:

• when I don't get enough sleep
• when I don't care for my body through healthy food/drink choices and feel bad as a result
• when the house is overly messy/dirty
• when I haven't spent more time with my children than other things, like the tv, have!
• when I'm distracted from my calling to be a helpmeet, joyful mother, and keeper at home by other interests and my priorities are out of order
• and number 1--when I haven't spent enough time with the Lord

When those things are neglected, I am much more quick-tempered, so taking care of those things is a start.

I can do my part in that way and working on my own self-control, but ultimately, I CANNOT be a godly gentle mother on my own. No matter how I try and try I will fail. I think this is the main reason I am still struggling after all these years. Only through the power of God and His Spirit working in me, can I ever even begin to become the kind of mother God wants me to be. Prayer and constant dependence on Him is the only way.

So I am on a journey to be a more gentle mother. I am seeking Him to find out what this really means. I am asking Him to reveal His ways to me and enable me to follow those ways. I'm imploring Him to show me how to be gentle when I don't feel gentle, and how to show grace to my children--the way He shows grace to His.

Starting here: God's Word

And here: Give Them Grace