I read the Excellent Wife probably about four years ago. It is a wonderful book--I need to read it again one of these days. There are many lists and charts that I wrote down when I read it that I have kept and read over and over. I have kept those handwritten lists in binders and the other day I finally typed them out and printed it out to put in my new encouragement binder. (I JUST named it that while typing this--sounded pretty good. hahaha!) I thought I'd share a couple of these from an early part of the book.
Wrong Desires (I think the book called this something like idolotrous desires--"Wrong" probably isn't the right word, but it's what I wrote then and I can't remember what the book actually says!)
1. That my husband will be affectionate.
2. That he will anticipate my needs without my asking.
3. That he will give me compliments.
4. That he will make me feel special.
5. That he will not hurt my feelings.
6. That he will talk to me and share his thoughts and feelings.
7. That he will put me first.
Right Desires
1. That I may know God's Word and obey it.
2. That I may delight in Him.
3. That I may seek Him with all my heart.
4. That I may be pleasing to Him regardless of my circumstances.
5. That I may cultivate an attitude of joy and gratitude in what God is doing in my life no matter what my husband does or does not do.
6. That I may have joy in God deciding how my life and circumstances can glorify Him the most, that He can use me for His glory.
Bitter Thoughts
- He doesn't love me, he only loves himself
- I do so much for him and look what I get in return!
- I can't believe what he decided. How ridiculous!
- I can't believe what he has done to me!
- He'll never change.
- He should have known better.
Kind, Tenderhearted, Forgiving Thoughts
- He does not show love as he should, but his capacity to love can grow
- I wonder if I can do something differently to make it easier for him.
- Maybe he has information I don't have.
- What he has done is difficult but God will give me the grace to get through it.
- By God's grace, he can change.
- How can he possibly know? I've never told him. He can't read my mind
2 comments:
I have never heard of this book before now, but I think I need to read it and create lists such as yours to remind myself. I find myself desiring for my husband to do many of the things on the "wrong/idolatrous" list and it has been a source of strife in our marriage. Thank you for sharing! i am adding this to my collection as soon as we can afford it!
I was blog hopping and loved your blog title so I had to stop by - I love your notes from the book - thanks for the tips. I've been working on having a softer heart these days - thanks!
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